Take Time For Training And Planning

In Positive Discipline, Jane Nelson reminds us to take time for training and planning to avoid power struggles, frustration, hassles and misunderstandings. Children often don’t know what is expected of them. Time constraints often lead to a lack of training. When children don’t know what is expected of them or how to accomplish a task, problems will arise.

Take time for training. As Jane says make sure children understand what “clean the kitchen” means to you. To them it may mean simply putting the dishes in the sink. Parents and teachers may ask, “What is your understanding of what is expected?”.
Do training at neutral moments. I’d like to add to make it short and fun. Repeat the lesson until they get it. Acknowledge their efforts whether successful or not and leave the result without correction.

I’ve also found that it makes all the difference in the world when you prep your child for the day and upcoming events. Tell him the plan, how things will work and how we, as people, act under those circumstances. “When we go to the park, this is how we act…”

Jane goes onto tell us to avoid morning hassles by establishing routines the night before. Make lunches, lay out clothes. Get backpack’s ready with homework, books etc. Help children figure out how much time they need to get ready in the morning and set an alarm in their room. Let them experience the consequences if they don’t get up in time.

Nip bedtime avoidance by planning a night time routine. Involve the children in establishing the plan. Stick to it with firmness. After dinner, remind them of the plan you developed together, “Here’s our plan… we will put on pajamas, brush teeth, read two books, share our happy and sad times of the day, then go to bed.”

Per Maria Montessori, children from the approximate ages of one to three years enter the Sensitive Period for Order developmental phase. Children need routine and order in the home environment making it especially important to establish and communicate a plan.

Remember to make the training fun! Use role playing to act out the plan. Rotate the roles. Children love that!

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You have questions... We have answers
  • Q: I read on the website that these schools offer family therapy, but how does that happen when the school is so far away?
    A:

    You will participate in the family therapy by phone, and when you come for your family visits, you will then do face to face family therapy.

  • Q: Why are most of these programs in Utah?
    A:

    The original Residential Treatment Center was opened in Utah, and they have been improving their system ever since. There is an entire state agency devoted to overseeing and regulating these programs. The other reason is that in Utah, the legal age is 18, so you can force your child to get treatment until they are 18. Legal age varies by state but there are an increasingly high number of states where the legal age is 17 even if you are still financially and physically responsible for them until they are 18.

    As long as your child is under the age of 18 and you have custody of your child, then your child does not have to go willingly. You can force them to go against their will for their benefit.

  • Q: If my child won't go willingly, how do I get them there?
    A:

    There are teen transport companies we contract with that are highly trained and they will come to your home and pick up your child. There job is to escort your child there safely! This takes away the worry and the fighting. There is an additional fee for this service.

  • Q: Does insurance cover the cost of treatment or boarding?
    A:

    Insurance plans vary so much that there is not a solid answer. You can find out what your coverage is by calling them directly and asking about your in-patient mental health benefits. In order for coverage, it has to be medically necessary, based on diagnosis and most insurance companies require a pre-authorization.